Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Mommy, what does “asinine” mean?

I know, I know.  Look Jess, it’s been over a month.  It’s not like I have a bajillion things to do or anything.  But I do love writing.  It’s fun and it’s a stress reliever.  I’m a mother of 5 who just sent two back to school while the ever amazing Clark Kent is traveling.  I’m not stressed.  There’s another word in between stressed and crazy … not sure what it is, but that’s where I am. 

Asinine is becoming an increasingly frequent word in my vocabulary.  So much so that Peanut asked what it meant.  Well, Peanut, that’s what the internet is for.  That and Facebook and memes. 

Definition of ASININE

1: extremely or utterly foolish <an asinine excuse>

2: of, relating to, or resembling an ass

Today that sums up the Memphis Police Department.  Or at least the part that deals with “security” at Memphis City Schools.  I bet you want to know why?  I bet you are thinking that “gee, Jess, that’s kind of harsh.” No.  It’s not.  And here’s why:

MCS knows when school starts.  They set the date.  I don’t.  I think August 6th is ENTIRELY too early for school to start school.  They know.  They know that we need crossing guards.  No shocker.  We had to call everyday last year for almost 6 weeks to get some last year.  We have three.  Or should.  So here it is day 3 of school and of course, we don’t have crossing guards.  So I call.  I’m the PTA President, after all.  It’s kind of my job to advocate for our children.  And their safety.  You know, like safety from getting HIT BY CARS. 

So I called.  Talked to a not very nice officer.  Actually she was quite snarky.  But I was calm.  10 points for me for not going ape on her for her snarkiness.  Anyhoo … she told me that the reason we didn’t have crossing guards is because no one in our zip code had applied to be a crossing guard. 

Wait.  What?  The safety of our children comes down to where employees live?  The irony?  MPD does not even require their police officers to live IN MEMPHIS to be a police officer.  I happen to know one that lives OUTSIDE city limits altogether.  But a crossing guard – a part-time, no appreciation, crappy hours job – must live in the same zip code?  Say it with me – ASININE.  That’s right folks.  Even if there are 50 people in the next zip code over (which, oh by the way there are at least 5 zip codes within a 10 miles radius of our school) who want this job, they can’t have it.  Sorry jobless person who is willing to drive over here.  You can’t have a job.  Our zip code is not acceptable for your paycheck.  Keep on being jobless.  And sorry kids.  Watch out for those speeding idiots who are texting while driving.  No one in your zip code has applied, so it’s every child for himself out there.  We don’t really care that you are crossing a 4 lane road that is a considered a major road by the MPD.  Tough noogies.  Let’s all say it again together … ASININE.  But, no sir.  It’s not about money and politics.  Kriner Cash just wants what’s “best for our children”. 


  1. I kind of want you to drink two more cups of coffee, and then make a video blog about this. It'd be the best video EVER.

  2. Reason #92858439 that I'm with the ASD now.