Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Normality Restored

Running a house with four children is a beautiful dance of organized chaos.  We go constantly to somewhere.  Gymnastics, dance, church, school.  We are always going.  And with Little Frog around things seems to move in two hour increments.  So being gone a week has crippled our house.

I fully believe in Clutter Gremlins.  These are the glorious creatures that destroy your house while you are out of town.  No matter how much I clean, I come home and it looks like the house was abandoned 10 years ago.  Dust, dog hair, dirt.  It’s all there.  The Clutter Gremlins do it.  Its like they sit there, waiting for me to leave for a few days so they can dump random particles into the air to create dust balls.  I also am pretty sure I have a giant fluffy hippo in my house.  They exist.  Furry hippos. Giant hairballs. Only something that large could create as much fur and dander and dirt as accumulates in my house.  That or 4 kids, 2 adults and 3 dogs.  You know, whatever you want to think.  I’m going with the giant fluffy hippo idea myself.  It seems like a nice scapegoat.  A furry hippo who loves to have paperwork.

Peanut and Bean must bring home 10 papers each a day.  The school is not concerned with how many trees gave their lives for this.  These papers are important.  They are reminders of the phone calls and emails that I already received about whatever fun events are going on at the school.  They are meaningless worksheets to fill time between the “well, we only need to teach what’s on the test” lessons the teachers are forced to teach.  We have lots of papers.  Throughout the week I stack them on the counter.  I stack them on the table.  I put them in chairs, on barstools, and my “important stuff” basket.  Every Saturday (or at least I like to think its every Saturday) I go through all the papers.  As I listen to the ghosts of the trees and ponder the pointlessness of it all, I throw it in the trash and regain my kitchen. 

But being out of town caused the Clutter Gremlins to show up.  They also gave each other free rides on my Fluffy Hippo. I like to think they had a Fluffy Hippo Rodeo.  It’s apparent by the balls of fur all over the floor in the kitchen that I found when we got home Friday night. We left in a hurry. Rushing out the door waters the paperwork piles so they can magically grow while I am gone.  When we got home I had paperwork shrubberies.  I blame Roger the Shrubber.  Ni!

Clark Kent had to go on a big mission for work Saturday, so needless to say I didn’t do my usual Saturday kitchen paper de-tox.  Then Sunday was “Let’s teach the children respect day” after church.  That involved all sorts of fun that taught my children two simple truths: 1) Respect is not requested, it is expected and 2) Never, never ever tell Mommy “No you won’t” when she explains your consequences.  Never.  Ever.  So Monday was moving furniture day thanks to my amazing amazing friend who saved my sanity and watched Little Frog for me.  It’s unbelievable what a little grown up conversation does for the soul.

So today was clean the kitchen day.  I combined all the normal kitchen cleaning into one day (I know, so Wonder Woman of me, right?).  It was exhilarating.  I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a terribly depressing thing that I get so much joy out of steaming my floors clean.  It’s a sign of being a mom.  It’s a sign that I don’t get out enough.  It’s a sign I don’t clean the floors enough, perhaps.  The children are crying, the dinner is burning, but DANG IT the floors are clean! Now I can return to my normal beautiful dance of chaos

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