When did ridiculous pieces of fabric and feathers stuck to your head become fashionable? It looks like they took the bits off other hats and stuck them in their hair. I’m of course talking about the Royal Wedding.
I didn’t get up at 4am. I didn’t get excited over Kate’s dress. I don’t care. I mean, it’s romantic. It’s Cinderella. It’s iconic. Depressing – poor William going so bald at jus 28. Timeless. There are a million words to describe their union. And many people will. But oh my Lord at those hats. Especially his cousins.
What were those girls thinking? Especially Beatrice? I’m pretty sure this conversation happened. I wasn’t there and will never know, but I am almost positive it went down like this:
Beatrice – Mom, I want to look like the ugly step sister in Cinderella. You know, the one who thinks she’s fashionable but comes off as ugly and desperate. Yeah, that one.
Fergie – Oh, well, there’s really only one way to appear as a desperate side show. And you’ve already accomplished it. Being my daughter. No one cares.
Beatrice – But MOM! How can people talk about me unless I look absolutely ridiculous? I need to appear to have a miniature deer’s antlers on my head.
Fergie – Okay, okay. I’m going to call a designer who does things for Dr. Seuss movies. He’ll know just what to do.
Uncanny likeness, no?
Because, you see, that is the only explanation as to what she had on her head. And why she thought it looked okay. Googling™ has proven that she often wears stupid hats. She’s known for it, I guess. Stupid hats are something to be known for. Better than the daughter-of- the- second-born-prince-that-nobody-cares-about.
Please, oh please don’t ever let me have the need to dress like high society. I’d fail. I can’t wear leftover bits from someone’s old church hat. All I can do is look at those pictures and say what I was taught to say if I didn’t have nothing nice to say – “Bless her heart.”