Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Bumper Sticker #15263

I’m going to make a bumper sticker for my car.  It’s going to say:

“The deceleration of this vehicle is directly proportional to your proximity to the bumper.”

People don’t get it.  I will NOT go faster, but I can go a whole LOT slower.  Really.  Really.  You’re annoying me, I’m going slower, it annoys you, which makes you get closer to me, which annoys me. It’s a vicious cycle. 

And speaking of annoying me, don’t ask me if ALL the kids are mine.  Yes.  Yes they are all mine.  And I’m having more.  Another one.  Good thing too.  I’m making sure there are enough nice people in the world to replace the jerks like you around.


Grr … mama bear say what??

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